Posts

8. The Joy of Anticipation

DECEMBER 19, 2022 Welcome back, and thank you for reading my blog "God is bigger than THIS monster".  This monster is Metastatic Inflammatory Breast Cancer, Triple Negative - stage 4.   And YES, God is bigger!  Christmas is just around the corner!  Yes, in just 6 days!  Oh the anticipation and joy of the Birth of Christ!!  I am anticipating the celebration - and in many ways it has begun!  But, very soon, we will gather at church and worship the King Who became a Baby!    You've heard it said many times in history a baby has become a King.... but this was and is the ONLY time a King became a baby .  And, not just a king....THE KING OF KINGS!! When I reflect on all Jesus GAVE UP to become that baby, I worship in awe!    Philippians 2:6“Though He was in the form of God, He did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped but emptied Himself, taking the form of a servant”     He exchanged the glories of Heaven for a smelly stable full of hay and dung.  He restricted

#7 VOICE or VICTIM December 1 , 2022

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   When I awoke this morning to this beautiful sunrise, I was reminded that THIS is the day the LORD has made!  I will rejoice and be glad in it!  And like every day, I have a choice! Am I going to be a Voice for Christ, or a victim of metastatic breast cancer stage 4.    When I was first diagnosed in March of 2021, we drove straight to church to talk with our Pastor and his wife.  Chris Daum has ALWAYS listened, and cared, but never compromised the Word of God.   They knew what a devastating diagnosis this was.  His Dad had died from cancer and had faced a similar journey.   As I told you in my Welcome to My Blog post - I knew early on that my testimony of Christ was at stake here, and my response to this illness would be used to witness to His power or my weakness, or both. Today - after all the treatments I have described in prior blog postings, I can tell you CHRIST  is ENOUGH!  Colossians 1:16-017 "for through Him (Jesus Christ),  God created everything in the heavenly realms
 6.  November 22, 2022  In Everything Give Thanks!   *If you are joining me in this Blog for the first time, please scroll down and read Welcome to My Blog post and the others in numerical order I am so thankful for all of those who came to me following those very scary days in May 2022.  Their visits and prayers lifted me out of the mire of fear and depression!  God had NOT called me home that day and I determined to use whatever time I had left on this Earth to serve Him and love my family!  I began taking some good vitamins and drinking lots of water and praying about our next steps in this journey.  While on chemotherapy, I was restricted from anything that was 'antioxidant' so that it didn't interfere with the chemo's job to kill those cancer cells. And, it had made me so sick, so weak, that I was simply not functioning.   I really felt that God wanted me to STOP chemotherapy treatment, even though I had completed only 8 of the prescribed 12 cycles.   Each week I f

5. November 15, 2022 Prayer Matters

   Feb-May 2022  Are we really right back where we started a year ago?! Now what LORD?   After 16 chemotherapy treatments, a double mastectomy and lymph node removal, 38 radiation treatments on the left side - and another 7 on the right - I found myself with the same diagnosis and recommendations for more chemo and a new immunotherapy drug.   I clung to the LORD, but found it hard to pray.  "What did we go through all this for, just to have the cancer return?" I often asked. He reminded me what miracles we had already experienced.  Miracles directly as a result of this monstrous cancer.  Relationships restored, old hurts healed, forgiveness received and given.  No, I wouldn't choose this journey, but I wouldn't trade the good God had brought through it, just as He promised He would. *Romans 8:28 " And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose" Although my strength seemed to be

4. November 7, 2022 Walking through Fires

  #4  Winter 2021 came as I was healing from the double mastectomy and lymph node removal.  The surgical scars began to heal and my days and nights were not filled with pain and soreness.  I was able to drive again and return to somewhat normal activities.   I was determined to get passed this and heal from metastatic inflammatory breast cancer, triple negative! I was SICK of that term.   The one major concern was even after all the chemotherapy I'd had before the surgery, cancer was found in 6 of the 16 lymph nodes that were removed.   ...that means the chemo didn't kill the cancer!   I saiah 43: "Do not be afraid, for I have ransomed you.  I have called you by name. You are mine! When you go through deep waters and great trouble, you will not drown, When you walk through the fire of oppression you will not be burned up, the flames will not consume you. For I am the LORD, your God, the Holy One of Israel, your SAVIOR!" Next, in the treatment plan was radiation - Oh I

3 November 3, 2022 Suffering and loss

Suffering and loss takes many forms in this life.  Yet, God is able to carry us through!  At the end of the first 16 rounds of chemotherapy - I was as bald as a baby's behind. I was swollen with the steroids and medications to counteract the side effects of the poison that was to kill the cancer.  Metastatic IBC - Triple Negative Stage 3 is a hard thing to kill - and if the chemo was doing its job, it was also wreaking havoc on my healthy cells.   "But I called on your Name LORD, from deep within the well, and you heard me!  You listened to my pleading; you heard my weeping! Yes, you came at my despairing cry and told me DO NOT FEAR." Lamentations 3:55 Now, it was time to recover from the chemo and prepare for a radical bilateral mastectomy and partial lymph node removal.   In my spirit, I was FINE with the upcoming surgery!  "Rid my body of this cancer!" I prayed, even taking from me the parts of my body that indicate my femininity in so many ways. I prepared m

2. 10/30/2022 Marked by a Pink Ribbon?

  Do your trials, betrayals, diagnosis or circumstances change your identity?    I was Grandma, Mom, Wife, Sister, Bible teacher, Christian, Small Business Owner, and sadly in that order.  It's only hindsight now that shows me where my priorities were jumbled.  Then suddenly I became a breast cancer victim. 🎗 The swiftness with which the diagnosis of  Metastatic Inflammatory Breast Cancer Triple Negative was made was rivaled  only by the onslaught of treatments and Pink Ribbon markings.   My family and friends and some people I didn't even know, starting making wreaths, t-shirts, blankets, window decals and signs - all with the tell tale Pink Ribbon symbol. Their evidence of love and support was astounding, but I really did NOT want to be part of this club!   Who was I becoming?   I began an  aggressive  cycle of chemotherapy that would cause me to lose my hair in just 2 weeks, The side effects were tough and there were many difficult days.    What was I going to show to the